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tales of something simple - why are you sending me an e-mail if you aren’t including a coupon?

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

why are you sending me an e-mail if you aren't including a coupon?

Dear Corporate,

I’m all about signing up on websites.  I enter in my little e-mail address, check off some box about user permissions and list rentals that I don’t ever read, and hit submit.  I do it for every store, restaurant or website I like.  WHY?  WHY do I enjoy getting all this e-mail?  I really don’t.  Matter of fact, 95% of the time I delete you.  I see your email, I go “oh, wonder if there is a discount in there…” And when I double click and you open up into my Outlook screen I oh so quickly and methodically scan you for a percentage off, sale, free shipping, buy 1 get 1 or other fun little logo, URL or print icon that will nevertheless save me money, buy me more or like you lots.  You could be selling me cute little artifacts from the moon that smell like cotton candy or purified air in a jar in case Anthrax spreads through my community.  No discount?  No checkout.  In addition, provide me with a faulty promotional code or busted link and I will be out of that site faster than you can say increased shopping cart abandonment rate.  Though, I must say, certain someone’s do make the B or better grade when it comes to consistantly yet appropriately flooding me with e-mails…in no particular order…

Drugstore.com, Vista Print, Banana Republic, GAP, TGI Friday’s, Kodak Gallery and JB Wholesale.

And by the way: just stop with the “spend $___ and get free shipping!”  Listen, if your brand wasn’t top of mind in the first place and I didn’t have intent to purchase, your incentive to give me an allowance to spend in order for you to throw some stuff in a box and get to my door 10 business days later isn’t going to get me going.

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