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tales of something simple - the moment you have where you know everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

the moment you have where you know everything is exactly how it's supposed to be

We were on vacation this passed weekend and I took the dogs for a walk early in the morning.  Everyone was sleeping and Penny was being a royal pain in the ass–whining and barking to go out.  I begrudgingly slipped my socked feet into flip flops and wandered out the door with 150 lbs. of Golden Retriever proceeding to torture me with a quarter mile walk (that’s a freaking lot when it’s before 8am).  I was half asleep (damn Brian and his snoring to convince me that he was still really asleep), moseying along the rocked road, observing the ant hills and puddles and trying not to trip over dog or get the bottom of my sweatpants wet (God forbid).  And then it hit me…

How did we get here?

It was as if I was standing outside of my body looking on…how did this happen?  I see two dogs.  My kiddo’s.  Running about.  We’re at the lake house…the summer home I grew up at.  I’m wearing a shiny wedding band and diamond engagement ring.  We’re making plans.  We’re living life.  We’re happy.  Peaceful.  What?

Just over five years ago I went on my first day with my now husband.  Who could have ever foretold then and there that we would be these people?  That we would be so in love, so connected, living in a literal and figurative place of…zen.  In all the craziness of daily living and working and making plans I forget how unbelievable it all is.

We met at work.  A bum part time job I could have cared less about while he was about to hit the prime of his 20-somethings career.  I graduated high school.  We fell in love somewhere in between.  I remember sitting on his beige too-small Ikea couch one night facing his kitchen while he watched some ungodly sports game (yet AGAIN) on TV.  He was rubbing my back.  I thought, and almost blurted out, I love you.  My head said it was too soon, but my mouth felt like saying it.  I didn’t.  But he knew.

I moved to Florida.  We both pined.  He visited.  I flew the miles.  He packed up all my stuff and drove me back to the Keystone.  I pretended to live on my own.  Really I slept in his bed with my cat (who he hated).  I went to school.  He went to work.  He took care of me.  We took care of us.  He got down on one knee.  I said yes.  Gladly.  We made more plans.  We painted rooms.  Grocery shopped at 11pm.  Ate take out too much.  Took walks.  Watched TV in bed on Sundays.  We said I do.  We really did mean it. We got a dog.  We almost named him Molson (what a mistake that would have been).  I got in a car accident.  Or two.  I changed jobs.  Or two.  I graduated.  We laughed.  We loved.  We really loved.  We got into a mess.  We stayed in it for awhile.  We moved.  We made sense of the messiness.  We moved on.  We healed.  We got dog #2.  We made ourselves new.  We loved.  We really loved.

And here we are.  We made this journey…this crazy, fun, surprising, eye-brow raising journey.  The universe had to fall into exactly the right place every step of the way for us to exist.  We have survived so much and lived so much and it is only the beginning.  We are going to have this incredible life.

I stood there dead in my tracks with my eyes all watery and looked around and just sighed.  I gathered the fur balls and trekked back toward the house.  I couldn’t wait to see him.

We are just so fucking lucky.

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