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tales of something simple - January 2011

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

dear you

To the love of our life,

We saw you for the first time today.  I cannot speak the fear I had since the middle of the night last night.  I wanted to wake up Daddy and tell him how scared I was, how I was so nervous we weren’t going to see you on that big screen today.  I stayed awake thinking of you (feeling sick, thank you very much!) and my insides felt like they were ripping apart worrying about whether you were OK, floating around in there.  When we got to our appointment they couldn’t see you at first and I started to cry.  Daddy held my hand and I laid there waiting for them to come back in and try again.  I thought something was wrong, but Daddy reminds me every day that you are perfect and just fine.  And then all of the sudden, I heard the lady say “Oh and there’s the heart beat.”  I couldn’t see it because the screen was turned away but I looked at Daddy and I saw his face and I knew you were just fine.  I started crying and laughing and crying some more, and they made me shush so they could get an actual picture of you.  The doctor soon told us we were a little off in our original dates and you are smaller than they thought.  They said for now they aren’t worried about you and that it actually makes more sense.

It occurred to me that because you are so, so tiny it is a miracle we saw your heartbeat today. Most Mommy’s don’t get to see a heart beat flicker so early and we got so lucky!

It was like you knew you had to hurry up and grow that little heart and make it beat nice and strong because today we were going to peek in on you.  I have a feeling that you, this precious, amazing little gem will be spending your life with us, looking at me and saying “Duh, Mom. Don’t worry.  I’m right HERE.  See?”

Words don’t speak this kind of love.  Thank you for showing us your heart, because you have already stolen ours.


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