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tales of something simple - July 2011

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

30 weeks and a mama's declaration

 

Dear total strangers and people who we know who say anything that flys into their pretty little heads:

I am not the first woman to carry her baby all in front.  I am not the first woman to look “full term” when she isn’t.  And unfortunately I am not the first, or will be the last expectant mother to hear:

“Looks like you’ve been eating well”

“How many babies are in there?”

“Is your due date wrong?”

“Are you sure you aren’t carrying multiples?”

“You look absolutely huge!”

“You really look like you are 2 months further along than you are”

“I didn’t look like that until 9 months, sheesh”

“How much weight have you gained?”

“Wow it’s going to be hard to bounce back if you already look like that”

“You’re baby will be born early because there will be no room left for it to grow”

“How many stretch marks do you have already?”

“Are you going to be asked to be induced early?”

“That is going to be a big baby”

For the record, I have gained 12 pounds, I have not one stretch mark, my belly button is only half an outie, my baby is a perfect size, my ass looks exactly the same as it did when I was 18, my boobs only rest slightly on my protruding, beautiful house of a baby belly and I look damn good for my gestation so I’ll take all of the above as compliments!

Oh, and if my baby is really 13 pounds at birth the only one caring at that time about my black-hole of a vagina will be the man that put me in this condition!  They say pain is beauty, but nah–carrying around this ‘lil thing is all the beauty one can have.

Love,

“Preggers”


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