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tales of something simple - marriage

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

in a world of uncertainty, one thing is for sure

Three years ago tomorrow I put on this beautiful dress.  I sat in this big, bright room and ever so carefully strapped on my shoes and clasped my bracelet and pinned my hair.  I blotted my lips and I smoothed the fabric on my waist.  I fussed with my bangs and I took one final look in the mirror.  I grabbed my mother’s hand and she grabbed mine and we heard the music play.

“If you wait for me then I’ll come for you…”

I decsended the stairs, my best gal to my right and my best Pop to my left and my smile lit up the room.  I saw him, down the stairs in front of the grand floor to ceiling windows.

“Although I’ve traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart”

He looked up at me with such a sense of pride, excitement and…certainty.

“If you think of me If you miss me once in awhile
Then I’ll return to you…”

I didn’t see a single person as I walked down those stairs.

“Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace”

I forgot my worry of tripping and falling.

“I’ll find my way back to you
If you’ll be waiting”

I floated on that floral carpet down two staircases, never leaving his gaze.

“If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place that’s warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart”

Lots of people stood and looked on quietly.  I don’t remember a single one.  I don’t know where they sat.  I don’t know what they wore.  I just remember how it felt when he took my hand, entertwined his fingers with mine and pulled me toward the aisle.

“Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end”

I wrote out our ceremony for the minister, word for word.  I spent months formulating the most poetic, eloquent, memorable words, strung together like popcorn on a string when you were a kid, making a present for your elementary school crush.  I can’t tell you now what he said to us that day, as we stood there, looking at each other, smiling until our cheeks hurt.

“If you can make a promise If it’s one that you can keep, I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say you’ll hold
A place for me in your heart.”

We made promises.  We made commitments.  We made our love sure and strong and proud and true.  We made ourselves a family.

I look back on this day and I can literally feel the warmth and happiness fall onto my body like the sunshine from a Jamaican honeymoon in January.

I can look over at him, at this man sitting in his worn out recliner, and I can close my eyes and tell you every line on his face.  I can tell you where every scar came from.  I can tell you his insecurities and his most prideful moments.  I can tell you his regrets and I can tell you his lessons.  I can tell you what it feels like to have him grab my hand on a street corner, under the dinner table and under the sheets.  I can tell you the meaning of his looks and the undertones of his laughter.

I cannot, however, tell you the gratitude I feel for the years we have spent together.  The years we have spent making plans, making stories, making memories, making love, making up and making the most wonderful, honest, genuine and remarkable marriage through the best and most difficult of circumstances.  These are the years we plan to use to build reality on top of dreams and take wishes and make them come true.

In a world of uncertainty, one thing is for sure.  We will always be.


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