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tales of something simple - weight

i believe

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.

all types of chaos

this is what my life looks like now...a fresh start

Well.  It’s started.  My fresh start.  I’ve never denied fruit or vegetables (at least to their face).  And meat has always been my friend.  Carbs have been my lovers.  Chips are a guilty indulgence.  It’s been rough.  So…in order to not just change my weight but my life, I’ve changed my life.  As in, my eating life–which has translated into my every-2-hours-I-now-eat life.  I started Saturday.  Because Friday I couldn’t say no to a hot dog and hamburger.  That’s right…I double fisted at dinner.

Since then, I feel like a different person.  Yes, I think about food all the time.  Not because I’m hungry but because I have to plan what’s going in next.  I take lots of time individually packing snacks into serving sizes and I buy an awful lot of produce (3 trips so far this week).  I’m also eating pretty much all the time.

I am still running. I am not consistant and I have great excuses as to why.  Brian works many nights and when I get home it’s doggie time (feeding them) and grazing time (feeding me) and when all is said and done it is dark and I don’t like the idea of getting kidnapped and eaten alive by a stranger in a neighborhood that isn’t my own (we don’t have sidewalks or streep lamps ’round these parts).  And to those of you who say, “Come on pussy!  Run before work!”  All I have to say is “REALLY!?  You are suggesting I get up at 6am to run a mile to start my day?  Yeah?  Well, fuck you.”  No, THANKS.

I walk 6 miles a week with a fabulous blonde who makes me giggle and really makes me hate her when she runs and I’m tired.  I wish it counted for a weeks worth of exercise.  I still use my weight ball but I get bored.  Running with the iPod works, especially when I’ve got the tunes jamming.  Nothing like rapping along to Eminem to make the time pass.  I tried taking the dogs but I think Penny isn’t up for the challenge.  She stayed pace most of the way, but after awhile she just looked sad.  Damn dog.

So.  Protein.  Fat.  Fiber.  One of which is always in every snack or meal I have.  I’m really trying.  I miss some stuff.  Like Cheddar Chips (not the baked kind).  Soft pretzels.  Starbucks every day.  Massive dinners.  White rice.  Melted cheese smothering a bagel.  Brownies.  However, I can have them I just can’t do it all the time.  Or I end up being 146 lbs.  I don’t like cottage cheese but my thighs do.  Went to the dermotologist last year and was concerned about the marks on my legs.  He told me to F off and that they were stretch marks.  I don’t like my double chin but I got it partly from my food and partly from my Pop Pop who is super cute.

At least when I smile I look like I’m smiling twice.

That being said, I give all credit to my new lifestyle to a dear friend and registered dietician who’s skinny little body and healthy, healthy family has inspired me to do something I can do even if it’s 6am or 11pm…take care of myself.

Some people have asked me how Brian is doing with this.  Brian?  He’s on his own!  With his bowls of ice cream and pop tarts and bagels with cream cheese.  Right now I am doing me and only me and he can join in if he likes snap pea crisps, low fat string cheese, olive oil popcorn and 5 triscuits at a time (all this shit is really good actually).  Otherwise…stay off my snack shelf!

Wrong. Try ENGLISH Muffin.

Peppers. Peaches. Hard Boiled Eggs. Pears. Apples.

Yes that says ORGANIC.

A snack shelf all my own.

Peppers. Cucumbers.

Celery. And a knife to slit myself with the next time I watch Brian eat a bowl of ice cream.

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